Does confidence seem like something that’s so far out of reach for you? Like maybe there are too many negative thoughts on repeat in your mind, holding you back from getting out there + doing what you really want to do?
Well – you’re not alone on that! Many of us are walking around with crappy, limiting beliefs running the show, stopping us from speaking up, getting our message out there + bettering our lives!
The good thing is – we can pick those thoughts out + replace them with better ones, + over time, the soundtrack in our head sounds (+ feels) a whole lot nicer! You just need some mindset shifts to help you find your confidence!
So, here is a list of some of the most common fears or mental blocks I hear from people when it comes to public speaking – plus – mindset shifts to help you find your confidence + clear those fears out:
#1 – What if I screw up + embarrass myself?
You probably will. Sorry – but we’re human + humans make mistakes. I still make mistakes while speaking + I’ve been doing this for almost two decades now! But just remember, mistakes are part of the learning process + even if you do screw up, you’ll only get better + stronger each + every time you speak. So please be gentle on yourself, forgive yourself + remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.
#2 – What will people think of me?
This is 100% out of your control – everybody has their own opinion + not everybody is going to like you or what you’re doing. And that’s okay. You don’t like all 7+ billion people out there either… so you shouldn’t expect everyone else to like you. At the end of the day, if you like you + you have some pretty cool friends + family who love you, + you’re having fun – that’s what matters. As long as you’re not being mean or deceitful – you can live your life however you see fit + you can do whatever makes you happy. It’s your life.
#3 – What if I don’t actually have anything of value to offer? What if what I’m saying isn’t good enough to help people or make a difference?
Oooooh do I have experience with this silly thought! This was my biggest block when I first left my “corporate” career to go out on my own + one that took a LOT of inner work to break free of! So, here’s what I know to be true about this: you have your own unique experience + that makes you qualified to speak. You have a story that belongs to nobody else. You have viewpoints + opinions that nobody can replicate. Those are yours. You earned them + if you want to go ahead + share them – then you do just that! The people that resonate with your ideas + stories will stick with you + become part of your community.
#4 – What if I don’t actually achieve the success I want? What if it just doesn’t happen for me?
But what if it does? I literally have this on a post-it note on my laptop: “But what if it does?”. Powerful, hey? Seriously though – you’ve had success in something before in your life – so you can have success again. Just think back to past wins or victories + let those serve as proof that you can do incredible things! Plus, each day you are becoming a stronger person + you just keep getting better + better, so let those feelings guide you.
Or look at the people you know of who are happy + successful + living their best lives. They built their own thing. Why can’t you? You are just as smart, creative + passionate. So if they can do it, why can’t you? And one last piece of advice – you can always shift the focus off of success as monetary gain or popularity (if that’s how you currently measure success) + put the focus on having fun. Are you enjoying the work you’re doing? Are you having fun in your business or your daily life? Do you like talking to + working with others? Do you like helping people? Focus on that as your success – how good you feel + how much fun you’re having + eventually the money + everything else will follow too!
Now, I know that it’s not just as easy as reading this + boom – your fears are gone. It takes work, every day to change the way you think, but it can be done if you commit to it + you are consistent with it.
So save these reminders + re-read them as often as you need to, to remind yourself that you are not alone in having thoughts like these, + that you can replace them with better, more positive ones. Or create your own!
Lean on these mindset shifts to help you find your confidence! And if you need some extra support + want to work together – you can always send me a note at info@heykahla.com.
–Kahla